Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Rising Action (or Lack Thereof).

Now that the cat's outta the bag, and I've exposed myself here...

I'll get right to it.  I'll bring it, so to speak, and talk openly about SEX post-marriage, post-baby.  From my very own viewpoint, no less.


So, here it is... the rising action.  Although, if I'm being frank, there's a whole lotta rising and very little action to speak thereof.

Ya catch my drift?

That's right.  I don't want to have sex!  In fact...

My libido has flatlined, and it has nothing to do with performance or love-n-desire or just about anything you might imagine?!

Really, it's all psychological.  In my mind, I've made sex "dirty," and I don't know if it's long-stemming from my childhood (because I didn't see outward showings of my parents' love for one another), or if it's got to do with all my "silly" self-loathing, my lack of self-worth?

Basically, I don't feel attractive or "sexy," and my confidence is shot. But, my husband doesn't mind if I'm soft 'round the middle!

So, I kindly ask:

  • WHY all the sex hang-ups?

Go figure, my only conclusion is FEAR.

Honestly, I'm afraid to let the control go.  I'm terrified of living up to the now-you're-married-so-you-don't-have-sex cliché.  I'm even more scared of growing old and growing unattractive in my husband's eye.

But it's IRONIC, because...

To be continued...

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  1. Aww. That happened to me for a very brief moment in time lol. But it had more to do with how I felt about how I looked. When I started back working out and feeling 'tight' again my issue was solved.

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    Have a great Day!


  2. I'm going through the same exact issues. My husband still wants it, but I just...don't. I think it's more about my self esteem and my own image of myself than anything. I'm trying to change that, trying to work out again, and hoping that makes me feel better about myself and I can get back in the mood.

    Now, on with the rest of this!!! :)

  3. You are SO not alone! I will say that in the past month or so my sex drive has increased a bit though. I can only attribute it to some progress in the weight loss battle and a small boost in self esteem. Plus, I want to make sure that if my DH ever strays (not that I think he would), I don't want it to be because of anything I did - or didn't do. I can't wait to read your continuation!

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  6. Aw hon, don't worry. Feelings are never constant. It's hard with children (I have three girls all under 5) you don't always have time for yourself, time for your relationship and that can affect other things too. Things will change :)
    Found you in a hop. Glad I did :)

  7. I felt that way for a long time. It is hard to reconcile the role of mother with sexuality. I found it especially hard while I was still nursing, my breasts had become utilitarian and I didn't want anybody macking on them. Things get better, hormones re-balance. It will come *pun intended*

  8. You are not alone and like they say this to shall pass. It is a bit tough to feel sexy on a lack of sleep and smelling and wearing spit-up all day. Talk about this with your husband:)


Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts. I love 'em all!

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