Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Road Called Diagnosis

We're on a road called Diagnosis.  And it's bumpy, with sharp bends, turns, and autism signs.


In fact, I had a blow-out two weeks ago.  And oh was I flat...

Depressed...

Discouraged...

But there are sunny stretches to enjoy, too.  On this road.

Metaphors aside, Aksel has acquired a few reassuring skills in weeks past.  And after three speech therapy sessions, he is now:

  • Stacking blocks and sorting shapes
  • Imitating during songs 
  • Showing/bringing things to me
  • Giving warm eye contact

At 16 months, the signs* of autism were too obvious to ignore.  I felt desperate and alone.  Aksel wasn't:

  • Responding to his name
  • Greeting/acknowledging people
  • Playing social games
  • Pointing with his index finger (he hasn't mastered this yet)

And I blamed myself, for being anti-social, for not partaking in playgroups, for not having all the answers.

Not to mention, I was tired of justifying the excuses:  

  • "Oh, he's just tired."
  • "He's shy."
  • "Give him time."

I was defensive, too.  Angry when people made assumptions:

  • "He looks sleepy."
  • "He's having a bad day."
  • "He's grumpy."

But I'm thankful now, happy our pediatrician made recommendations to address my child's differences, because we have a plan.  

On our journey to Understanding, we have a map.  

We're just traveling a narrow pass now, a road called Diagnosis.


PS - Aksel has benefited greatly from a weekly Little Gym class. Twelve weeks ago, he scaled the perimeter of the space, his face pressed to the storefront glass, utterly detached from the activities. Now, he's the first in the room, rushing for the shakers, tumbling like a pro.  Maybe our lil' one's just a late bloomer?

PPS - Read more about our autism journey here.


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1 comment:

  1. Oh Gillian, I'm sorry you are going through this. Sorry you have felt these things that are so hard. I'm sending prayers and wishes that you get answers you need soon. You are a great mom. Do not feel like any of this is your fault. As a mom with a second child, I can tell you it's not. I took the first baby to all the playclasses, but the next... just comes around on errands with me. It makes no difference.
    Thank you for sharing your story. I know it will help others going through the same thing. You are a strong woman.
    XO
    Marina

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts. I love 'em all!

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