Monday, March 26, 2012

She Whispered, "Write."

I suppose you could say I follow my instincts.  My mother always told me to listen to my inner voice, to trust my intuition.  And I have wholeheartedly since childhood.  Or since I was perceptive enough to understand my inner self.  That I actually had one, that is.

She also told me to "never leave a drink unattended, experiment with ouija boards, or dabble in dungeons and dragons," my mother.

Pretty random, right?

But the point of all this talk leads simply to the fact that my inner voice was telling me I needed to make time for myself, to stop over-analyzing our situation, primarily Aksel's autism, and to take active control of my wellbeing.

Because at Christmas, I was a mess... a sobbing, contemplative mess.

So, I did take control.  Or have, rather.  And resulting, it's been two plus months since I've written one creative word.

Don't misunderstand though, it's not for want, or love of writing, that I stopped, it's just because my person, my inner voice said, "rest."

But today, she whispered, "write."  Out of nowhere.

So, I am.

And I respect her, my inner voice.  Because she's comprised of all the women before me.  (More on this later.)

All said, and two months later, I'm happy again!  Not to mention, 10 pounds lighter.  And my mind, most important, is alive.

Oh, and Aksel's beginning to talk, saying simple words like "apple" and "hat."  Ten weeks ago, I was afraid he never would!

By the way, we love his team of therapists!  They're incredible!

And my marriage, despite the challenges in past months, is stronger than ever... most of the time.

We actually believe that autism is a blessing... now.

I'm just happy to be writing again!

PS - I really appreciate the notes and emails I've received over the last few weeks.  And despite my silence, they've helped so much!  

7 comments:

  1. I'm so glad to read this, Gillian. I was wondering about you and hoping all was ok.

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  2. I've been keeping an eye out waiting for your return, wondering how you were doing. During the time you were resting my little one was diagnosed with a speech delay, SPD, and will soon see a neurologist to see if he lands anywhere on the autism spectrum. He also now has some wonderful therapists. I don't know you but I feel like I can relate to you. My mom also taught me about listening to the inner voice.

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  3. Just checking to see if you have any new post and glad to see that you start writing again!!!! Things will get better and we are all here to support you!

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  4. It makes me so happy to read this :) Lots of hugs!

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  5. SO glad to hear things are improving. I can't imagine how hard it all must have been at the same time but really glad there is some improvement and you are doing well and back! You were defintiely missed.

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  6. Out looking for blog hops and i came across your blog. If you do your hop, I'd love to link up. I love your hop button. Super cute ;) Newest follower GFC. Love for you to stop by Naptime Review and follow back when you get a chance.

    http://naptimeshopper.blogspot.com

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Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts. I love 'em all!

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