Friday, August 17, 2012

For Better, For Worse, Forever.

I've wanted to write for such a long, long time... but I haven't known what to say, or where to start?  There's so much in my life, and self, that's changed in the last year.  For better, for worse, forever.

For instance, I started to write last week.  Here's what I got:


It's said, on average, that the typical male thinks about sex every seven seconds.  Well, like the masses, the male mass that is, I think in seven second increments, too.  Only thing, I'm a woman.  And, I think about autism.  (Which speaking frank, is not a turn-on.)
For instance, every seven seconds or so I wonder if my child will speak? If he'll develop functioning language, and say simple things like:

HelloGoodbyeMommy.

To bring you up to speed, dear reader, it's been about a year since my child's autism diagnosis.  And I must say, that on any given point, on any given day, his disability is never far from the surface of my thoughts.  And it's heartbreaking, autism.
For one, my child doesn't look impaired.  You wouldn't know at first, second, or even third glance, that behind his bright eyes, there's a little boy desperate to communicate.  Unable to communicate.
But I try to stay positive, to be proactive.  Full stop.


Now that's pretty heavy, right?

And that's what's constant churning in my head. Baby talk. And babble. Or frankly, the sad, silent lack thereof.

But my child waved on Tuesday. And there's much to be said about the person I'm becoming. A woman who by all accounts has never, until just recently, enjoyed appreciated revered the simple things.

I mean not really, that is. Not truly.

Because I now proudly revere the things I thought I'd always overlook.

Like my child waving, for instance. Talk about joy!


Bright eyes himself.  Aksel, 2 1/2 years.


Tonight was a start, in sharing again. Thank you for reading.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Gillian...
    Wonderful to read about your beautiful son. Obviously, you know you are not alone. I have a very good friend that could talk to you about autism and how it is very close and personal. If you ever wish to get together, over a glass or wine, I can totally set that up. You have a gift and although not what you expected (the diagnosis), he will bring you more joy than you can imagine. As you know. Much love to you and your family.
    Melissa Bradshaw (Wee Little Arts :-). Thank you for sharing. People will completely appreciate what you are doing, by sharing your story.

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  2. Gillian,

    It's nice reading your post again! I don't know what to say but all I want to let you know that I am always here to support you! Big hugs

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  3. I'm so glad to see you writing again.

    Sending big hugs your way.

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  4. I've been thinking of you Gillian. I can't ever imagine putting myself in your shoes. All I can say is your readers are here for you, whenever you need us to be. ((HUGS))

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  5. I so admire you and wanted to say you have lots of support even if it is just by the internet

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  6. You're writing is as beautiful as ever. I hope you return with more words soon. And I truly hope your beautiful boy gives you more words as well. Thank you Gillian for your unique perspective, it makes my mommy heart hurt bad, but also makes grateful to the point of tears for my own blessings. Much love, Lori peck O'Connor.

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  7. Beautiful boy and he seems to be teaching you a lot of things. Take care. :)

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  8. Love your blog! My oldest son was diagnosed with autism two years ago, take a peak at my blog http://www.theurquharts.com
    Would love to connect with another mom living the same journey!

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  9. Excellent post! We will be linking to this great article on our site.
    Keep up the great writing.

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  10. Keep writing it's a joy to read. Rule 32 "Enjoy the little the things"

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Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts. I love 'em all!

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